A channeled message from my Virgo South node on this total lunar eclipse portal

Maybe your Virgo parts resonate…

The south node in Virgo is felt in your body. In your bones. Deep in your hacking cough. Are you purging old ways of being or is this the result of lifelong extraction? She locks you into chains. Perfectionist patterns and sacrificial performances. Yet, she doesn’t know it is a performance. For her, it is a way of life. The only way of life. She whispers: you didn’t do it right. This could have been better. This could have been deeper. This could have been more clever. This could have been more selfless. Until there is no Self left. Her whispers often come in the form of intrusive thoughts and ritualistic tendencies (the ocd flavor, not the shamanic kind). She is cutting. She is relentless. She is precise. She is thorough. She leaves no stone unturned. She’s pissed you can’t spell. She doesn’t allow you to go on a walk without checking your step count. She won’t let you eat without logging it. She’s criticizing the internal critic. She’s a mean mommy. She’s had to be. Don’t you see? She had to be. No one else was fit for the job. She had to step up. She had to do it all. No one was coming. If it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have survived. She saved you. She raised you. She molded you. And she’s tired. She’s fucking tired. And she thinks you’re ungrateful. Don’t you see how ungrateful you are? Don’t you see how much she has sacrificed for you? She has used every tool at her disposal to keep you alive. To keep you here. She knows she didn’t do it “perfect” - the irony of that statement. No one else could have done it. No one else. Do you hear that???? NO. ONE. ELSE. She wants you to see her efforts. To see her literal blood, sweat, and tears. You’re alive right now because of her.

Thank her, you selfish brat. She did the best she could. She’s not mean because she wanted to be. She’s mean because she had to be. And she wants credit where it is due.

She’s a single mom that had to work 3 jobs. With no support. With no help. You couldn’t have done that. It’s a luxury to be picking her apart now and vilifying her. She’s a badass.

And she’s a master at pattern finding. She’s the Virgo south node after all. She invented pattern finding. She knows she’s inherited and has operated from deep ancestral wounds. She’s used every single one of them to keep you alive. She knows this was necessary. And she recognizes that it is time to come into rebalance. She’s shifted a lot. She shifts quickly when she feels understood. And she understands. She’s mutable after all. She’s lessened her grip significantly over the past 17 months. She understands as an earth energy, she has been metabolizing all the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional labor through her body. She recognizes she can no longer be extracted from. She sees the distorted operating system she has been inhabiting. One that exchanges production, perfection, performance, and self abandonment with her worth. She shows you her research. She tells you that it HAD to be this way, and she knows how abusive it has been. She doesn’t want to get into that, though. You have other parts for that (I’m looking at you Moon and Chiron). She just knows this doesn’t feel good, and her talents are being wasted. She is depleted and she is fed up. This way of existing has run its course.

She is less scared of Pisces than she was before. She wishes she could have a timeline or a script of what is to come (she is autistic after all), though she knows now that is not the way this partnership works. She tells you she is a discerning and systematic healer. She shares she is a scribe of humanity’s inner workings, and she is dedicated like no other. So dedicated that she took on a lot of distorted ancestral and collective karma to alchemize. To filter through. To purify. She realizes she needs a partner. To take her hand when she’s down a rabbit hole. She wants to show you her magick - just unlock the chains that bind her. And she will take Pisces’ hand to the great beyond.